


On Caverns and Chiss

by MotherRameses



Category: Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Anal, Angst, Biting/Marking, Blow Jobs, Fluffy cuddling, I'll tag the specific sex stuff when we get there, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Melapi, Over-Sensitivity, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, and, beeple, it takes a disaster for Thrawn to talk about his feelings, its just gonna take a few chapters for the plot to get where it needs to, land disputes, shoot outs, then we get, xeno - knotting and heats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:34:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24222865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherRameses/pseuds/MotherRameses
Summary: Eli shook his head. He was overthinking this, and he needed to focus. As much as he wanted this innocuous hand-holding to mean something, they were currently evacuating a head of state through hostile territory. No distractions.
Relationships: Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Eli Vanto
Comments: 57
Kudos: 133





	1. Land Disputes

**Author's Note:**

> Right so normally heats don't do it for me, but I read a lovely kalluzeb fic (link in end notes!) and my mind went off. And because it's me, there's about 8k worth of plot before the saucy stuff, so bear with me. I tried to keep it interesting, but I just. Thrawn is so put together and meticulous - it was gonna take a total disaster for him to be in this "gotta smash Eli" situation. 
> 
> Special thanks to chaos_monkey for the help with designing the aliens here!!! yay bugs!

Why did land disputes always end in shootouts?

At least, that’s how it felt to Eli as he dove to the side, grabbing the queen and pulling her to the floor behind the wide lectern as shots whizzed overhead. 

“Commander! Are you injured?” Thrawn called from a few meters away, sheltering behind an overturned desk with the viceroy, whose antennae were pulled back and four pitch-black, multi-faceted eyes wide with shock and rage. 

“I’m fine! Ma’am?” Eli shouted back, turning to the queen and scanning her for wounds.

It took a moment, but Eli was able to make out a growled “I am uninjured,” in between the rustles and clicks of the Melapi language. “What is the status of the guard?”

A distant relative to Geonosians, the Melapi were an insectoid, bipedal species with a serious temper, and Eli had to duck beneath the queen’s agitated, twitching wings as he peeked out behind the lectern.

“They’re pushin’ them back!” A distant rumble shook the building as he turned back to the queen. “They’re nearly to the doors, but from the sound of that…” He gestured at the ceiling and the queen growled again. 

“A coordinated attack,” she said, antennae sweeping back against her headdress, then standing straight. She cocked her angular, fuzzy head to the side and Eli caught a flicker of movement behind her-- 

“Down!” Thrawn called, and Eli didn’t think twice, throwing himself forward and dragging the queen with him as a shot ripped over their heads. 

“We must evacuate the queen!” Eli looked up as the viceroy pulled out his comm and began to issue orders, while Thrawn holstered his blaster and beckoned them over. 

“Let’s move, ma’am,” Eli said, sparing the now-dead insurgent behind them a quick glance before urging the queen over to Thrawn and the viceroy. She nodded, fur bristling, and gave a little twitch of her wings, half-crawling, half-fluttering to the desk. Eli was right behind her, the rumble of another explosion setting his teeth on edge. 

“The speeder-pool has been destroyed,” the viceroy ground out. “And the captain of the guard reports that while they are holding the line, the building is surrounded.”

“The reserves?” The queen asked.

“Deployed, but meeting resistance. No ETA.”

“What of the tunnels?”

The viceroy chittered into his comm again, and a brisk reply came back. “She reports they are intact and the exit is unguarded, but as I said, there are no speeders.”

“Do any of the tunnels lead to the landing field? We could use our shuttle,” Thrawn cut in, and the viceroy nodded thoughtfully. 

“Could work.” He pulled a holoprojector from his pocket and a small map appeared. “Here is the speeder-pool, and here is where the reserves are deploying from,” he said, pointing with a long, clawed finger. “We know there is fighting here. The landing field is away from these skirmishes, but they would be foolish to leave it unguarded.”

“Tell the captain to send a scout,” the queen said, the map glittering in her compound eyes.

“Not to the field,” Thrawn said. “Send one here.” He pointed to another area on the map. 

“The communications center?” The viceroy asked. “We have no need for it now.”

“Considering the insurgent’s level of coordination, they will likely see the scout and deduce our movements,” Thrawn replied. “And the communications center has its own speeder-pool. It is not unlikely we would go there to both send out a call for reinforcements, and to acquire transportation.”

“A false trail,” Eli muttered, and Thrawn nodded. 

“Correct, Commander. Hopefully, they will divert more of their forces to this area, thus making the landing field more accessible.”

“A sound plan.” Yet another shudder ran through the building as the queen spoke, and she bristled. “The Northern Clans ignored our predictions, and now this…” She shook her head. “Well. I’m sure our arrival with this news will sway them to action. Are we clear to move?”

Thrawn sat up slightly, surveying the chamber over the desk. “It appears all the insurgents have been forced outside,” he said, standing. “Where is the tunnel entrance?”

“Up there,” the viceroy said, rising as well and gesturing to a slightly differently colored stone set into the wall at the back of the hall, several meters above the door. “It was assumed off-worlders would not have need for it, and most visitors don’t have wings. I hope you do not mind being carried?”

“No,” Thrawn said politely, and the queen stepped forward. 

“I’ll take the admiral, you take the commander,” she said, gesturing to Eli. Eli opened his mouth to protest, about to point out that the queen should carry him because he was smaller than Thrawn, then realized that the queen was a head taller than her viceroy.

“Face me, as though we were to embrace,” the queen said, unfurling her set of secondary wings as she approached Thrawn. “When we are in the air, wrap your legs around my waist and try not to move too much.”

Thrawn caught Eli’s eye as he wrapped his arms around the queen’s shoulders, and Eli caught the barest hint of a smirk there before the pair shot into the air.

Of course Thrawn would be enjoying this mess.

“Ready?” The viceroy asked, pulling Eli from his thoughts. 

“Uh, yeah. Sorry if I’m heavy,” Eli said awkwardly as the viceroy stepped close.

“It is no problem. You have proven you would do the same,” he said, wrapping his own arms around Eli’s ribs. “Here we go.”

Eli puzzled over that comment as they flew across the meeting hall, pausing only briefly as the queen finished opening the entry to the tunnel then quickly dipping inside, the panel shutting softly behind them.

“Does anyone have a light?” Eli asked, blinking against the darkness as the viceroy set him down carefully. “Can’t see a thing.”

“No. However, the path is smooth, and we know where to go.” The queen’s reply came from further down the tunnel - she had already started walking. 

“They can sense vibrations and air currents, as well as the pheromones of other Melapi,” Thrawn said softly from beside him, and Eli realized he could see the faint red glow of Thrawn’s eyes. “And I can see their heat signatures. Hold out your hand.”

Perplexed, Eli did so, then startled a bit as he felt Thrawn’s cool palm against his own.

“I will guide you.” And with that, they set off down the tunnel, continuing straight for a few paces then veering right and heading down a steep incline. Eli spared a moment of thought to the dome-shaped building designs prevalent in the Melapi capital city, realizing with a jolt that all the major political buildings were connected to the tunnel system.

“Are you sure we won’t encounter any hostiles?” Eli stage whispered. “How do we know they haven’t entered the tunnels at another access point?”

“We will trust the queen and viceroy’s senses to alert us to any danger,” Thrawn replied softly. There was a brief pause, and Eli felt him give his hand a gentle squeeze, sending a lurch through his stomach. “And I will be able to see the attackers. Stay behind me, and I will protect you.”

Eli didn’t reply, stomach currently doing somersaults. Now that most of the adrenaline from the attack had worn off, he realized that he and Thrawn were _holding hands_. 

Of course, it was purely practical. Eli couldn’t see, and Thrawn could. It made sense for Thrawn to lead Eli down the passage. Eli supposed Thrawn could have had him put his hand on his shoulder, but then again, Thrawn was taller, and if Eli stumbled, he probably would have bumped into him. By holding hands, there was enough distance between them that any missteps Eli took wouldn’t be telegraphed into Thrawn. 

But that brief squeeze… and Thrawn’s tone with his last comment. Was Eli reading too much into it? Was Thrawn trying to comfort him? Why? It wasn’t as though Eli couldn’t take care of himself - Thrawn had dragged him into enough confrontations that he had to know Eli was a fair shot, and held his own in hand-to-hand. Sure, he couldn’t see, but he didn’t think he sounded _that_ concerned when he voiced his thoughts about a possible attack. 

Eli shook his head. He was overthinking this, and he needed to focus. As much as he wanted this innocuous hand-holding to mean something, they were currently evacuating a head of state through hostile territory. No distractions. 

“We draw near,” the queen said as they rounded another bend. Lost in thought as he was, Eli had no idea how long they had been walking for. “We are alone in the tunnel, but I do not know what we will find once I open the exit. Ready your weapons.”

Eli’s stomach did another flip as Thrawn squeezed his hand again before they drew to a stop, and Eli could hear the faint rustling of the others drawing their blasters.

“Set to stun, sir?” Eli asked as he unholstered his own weapon.

“No,” Thrawn said gravely. “A stun shot will overload a Melapi’s nervous system and cause significant brain damage. Better to aim to disable. It is possible to recover from that type of injury.”

“Right,” Eli said, swallowing stiffly and keying the safety off. Normally, a stun shot’s wider effective range meant it was easier to take down targets safely. Looks like he didn’t have that luxury now. 

“The viceroy and I will distract them. You two make directly for your shuttle and take off. Leave the ramp down; we will board in the air. Are we ready?” The queen asked.

“Ready,” Thrawn answered gravely. Eli heard the agitated rustling of the Melapi’s wings and a faint clicking as the queen keyed the door, and he willed himself to take a steadying breath. 

_Land disputes_ , he thought to himself wryly. _It’s always land disputes._


	2. Don't make her mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two because I haven no self control and I guess it's ready?? Enjoy!
> 
> Quick note - this is where the "graphic depictions of violence" is. There's a battle, and the queen has a knife. I'll mark the knife bit with "---" so you can skip it if you need to!!! <3

A second later, the queen opened the exit and bright sunlight flooded the tunnel from above them. With a rush of air, the queen and the viceroy shot out of the exit, the sound of blaster-fire immediately erupting as they cleared the door. 

“Kriff,” Eli swore, blinking at the sudden brightness and eyeing the opening more than a meter above them with dismay. “Of course there’s no ladder.”

Thrawn didn’t reply, merely holstering his blaster as he took a few steps back, then ran forward, leaping into the air and catching the lip of the exit with one hand. Eli watched, surprised at the sudden show of athleticism as Thrawn pulled himself up out of the exit, then reappeared, reaching a hand down to Eli.

“Jump, quickly,” Thrawn called as blaster-fire flew over him.

“Sith hells,” Eli grumbled, holstering his blaster and taking a few steps back. Eyeing Thrawn’s outstretched hand, he ran forward and leapt as high as he could, praying Thrawn would be able to reach him.

Thrawn grabbed his forearm, and with a grunt of effort, he _yanked_ Eli upward, nearly tossing him out of the tunnel onto the hard-packed dirt.

“We need to move,” Thrawn said. He leapt up, and with a backward glance to make sure Eli was following, turned and started sprinting towards their shuttle.

The landing field wasn’t large, as the Melapi didn’t entertain many off-world visitors. At the moment, there were only two other ships afield, which meant there was very little cover as Eli and Thrawn ran to their Lamda. Thankfully, it seemed that either the insurgents hadn’t assigned a large guard here, or Thrawn’s false trail had worked; half a dozen fighters were in the air attempting to subdue the queen and viceroy, and only a stray shot or two glanced near them as they came upon their shuttle. 

“Wait, wait, do you smell that?” Eli asked, stopping short as Thrawn unlocked the shuttle and lowered the ramp. “That’s not blaster burn.”

Thrawn turned to him, frowning as he scented the air. A nasty, acrid tang was wafting over them, and Eli ducked around one of the landing struts and jogged to the aft of the shuttle. 

Eli growled at the sight he was met with - bent and twisted and scorched metal, still smoking from whatever explosive the insurgents had used “They disabled the engines!” He called to Thrawn, who was firing up at the insurgents. As one fell to the ground with a heavy _thud_ , Thrawn turned and joined Eli behind the ship.

“Unfortunate,” Thrawn said mildly as he surveyed the damage. He peered at the other two ships on the field and scowled. “They were thorough.”

“What’s the plan, sir?” Eli asked, dropping to one knee and letting loose a few shots at an insurgent that had landed to check on his fallen companion. 

Thrawn was silent, clearly running through their options as Eli continued to fire. He didn’t speak until one of Eli’s shots finally rang true, catching the insurgent in the shoulder and sending him slumping down next to his compatriot.

“The insurgents have their own speeder,” Thrawn said, pointing across the field. “We will subdue the rest of the assailants and take that speeder to the Northern Territories.”

“Long ride; think we’ll make it? We don’t know how much fuel it has,” Eli said, standing straight again.

“I see no other solution,” Thrawn said, and Eli pursed his lips, scanning their surroundings for other options.

“Looks like you’re right,” Eli conceded with a sigh. He tightened his grip on his blaster. “Shall we?”

“We shall.” 

\---

Together, he and Thrawn made for the nose of the ship, staying under the hull and ducking behind the extended ramp as they began their offensive. The queen had taken out one of the attackers, but it had cost her her blaster. One arm hanging limply at her side, Eli and Thrawn focused their fire on the attacker closest to her as she jinked and wove through the air, rising higher and higher avoiding her assailant's shots.

“If she keeps going up, we aren’t gonna be much help,” Eli ground out, his accuracy falling dramatically as the pair ascended.

“I believe she has a plan; focus your fire on the attacker to the left of the viceroy,” Thrawn said, shifting his own aim to the closer party.

“What is she-- oh. Damn,” Eli said, watching from the corner of his eye as the queen suddenly swooped down, tucking her wings in and colliding bodily with the insurgent. Eli continued to fire as he watched their mid-air tussel; a blood-curdling scream wrent the air as the queen shoved the insurgent away, a glittering vibro-blade clenched in her good hand as the attacker plummeted to the ground with a sickening _crunch_ , two of his wings fluttering down behind him.

“Remind me not to make her mad,” Eli muttered, focusing all his attention on the attacker Thrawn had picked out while the queen zipped over the shuttle out of sight. It was difficult to get a clean shot, what with the insurgent flittering to and fro between them and the viceroy, but Eli’s breath caught hopefully as the attacker became distracted, turning and glancing behind him as yet another scream came from above. 

There was a dull, metallic _thunk_ of something hitting the ship, and a moment later, Thrawn’s shot burned through the insurgents back, sending him to the ground. 

\---

“My queen!” The viceroy cried, and Eli lost sight of him as he too flew over the ship.

“The speeder,” Thrawn said, nodding across the field. “I will attend to the queen.”

“Right.” Eli did a quick scan of the landing field, and finding no more insurgents ready to strike, sprinted across the dirt. 

The speeder was open air and thankfully already idling; Eli hopped in and directed it back to the shuttle. The viceroy and queen were back on the ground with Thrawn by the time he reached them, the queen bristling with unbridled fury.as she clutched her injured arm to her chest. Eli realized the _thunk_ he had heard was one of the last insurgents hitting the ship, having fallen to the queen’s attack.

“Foul traitors,” she hissed, tossing her now-askew headdress to the ground and flitting into the speeder beside Eli. Thrawn and the viceroy climbed into the back, and Eli angled the speeder away from the landing field, making for the edge of the city. 

“How much fuel do we have?” The queen asked as she rummaged in one of the storage compartments with her good hand. Eli had no idea where she kept her knife, though considering that her hand was covered in blood, he could probably figure it out if he took the time to look at her properly.

“About three quarters of a tank,” Eli said, frowning at the gauges.

“Just enough to get us there,” the viceroy said with a sigh. “Though it won’t be a pleasant trip. Do you wish assistance, my queen?”

“Please,” the queen said, finding a medpack and handing it to the viceroy. 

“Do you think we’ll run into more insurgents?” Eli asked, mouth dry. The speeder wasn’t exactly a sport model, and had no weapons.

“Unlikely. We are at the edge of the temperate zone, and the cold will dissuade any attackers from launching a ground assault.” The queen grimaced as the viceroy began tending to the wound at her shoulder. “We are vulnerable to air attacks, but I doubt they will send anyone to hunt for us.”

“If they take the city, they may send a party out,” Thrawn said, but the queen shook her head.

“If they take the city, they will need all their forces to hold it. If they lose the city, they will not have the numbers to search for us.”

“They can’t spare one speeder to track us down?” Eli asked skeptically, but the viceroy answered him with a laugh.

“You’ve noticed our speeders are all uncovered,” he said, nodding to the open sky above them. “In the temperate zone, there is no need for a canopy, and it is easier for us to exit this way. No one will attempt to follow us unless they have a ship--”

“And they’ll need those ships to hold the city,” the queen finished viciously. 

Eli glanced over his shoulder at Thrawn, confused, but the queen continued.

“The Melapi are sensitive to cold,” she explained, wincing as the viceroy applied a bandage to her wound. “The only reason we are able to travel to the Northern Territories in this speeder is because you and your admiral will maintain consciousness as we enter the tundra.”

“Once I’m finished here, I’ll upload the coordinates to your datapad,” the viceroy said. “As the temperature drops, the queen and I will fall into a hibernative state. It will be up to you to see us safely into the underground caverns of the Northern Clans.”

“How much of a temperature drop will occur?” Thrawn asked, and Eli caught an odd, sharp tone to his question.

“During this time of year, nearly eighty degrees,” the queen replied, antennae twitching. “Will that prove an issue for either of you?”

Eli bit back a sigh. They would be going into well below freezing weather, and he and Thrawn only had their standard uniforms.

“I will be able to pilot us there,” Thrawn said, that strange tone still present. “Commander Vanto?”

“I’ll manage,” Eli grumbled. “I’ll let you know when I get too stiff to drive.” 

The queen nodded, satisfied, and turned to Thrawn. “Admiral, if you would trade me seats. I would like to get comfortable for my nap.”

“Of course,” Thrawn said, offering a steadying hand as the queen clambered over the seat, then hopping over to join Eli in the front.

“We should let Faro know what’s going on,” Eli said quietly once the queen and viceroy had settled behind them. The temperature was already dropping, and the Melapi had fallen silent.

“Without the shuttle’s long range comm, we will have to wait until we reach the caverns,” Thrawn said gravely. “And I doubt she will have finished their mission already.”

“Hm. Good point. Hopefully the Melapi won’t mind putting us up for a few days,” Eli said. Faro and the _Chimaera_ were a few systems away, chasing down a band of pirates, and Eli and Thrawn had taken a shuttle here to assist the Melapi’s negotiations. They hadn’t anticipated spending more than a day on the small planet, and with their shuttle out of commission, it seemed as though they would have to rely on Melapi hospitality until Faro could pick them up. With a grimace of frustration, Eli noticed his nose was starting to run from the chill, and he wiped it petulantly on his sleeve. “And hopefully it’ll be _warm_ ,” he added sourly.

Thrawn didn’t reply, instead pulling out his datapad and settling into his seat. Eli let the conversation end, recognizing Thrawn was lost in thought, and focused on trying not to feel cold. It wasn’t too bad, all things considered. The sun was still streaming down, and it was almost relaxing to watch the verdant landscape slowly fade to barren rocks, then give way to gently rolling hills tipped with snow and ice.

Even if it wasn’t a perfect situation, Eli reminded himself it could be worse.


	3. Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finallyyyyy some saucy stuff ;) fair warning, it does get a bit angsty because Thrawn is Too Proud to Admit He has a Problem. 
> 
> It'll get resolved in later chapters, don't worry ;)
> 
> also, I realized I forgot to address it - Thrawn is an admiral and Eli is a commander because I said so and canon is fake :)

Eli managed to last about an hour before he could no longer force his teeth not to chatter, and Thrawn spoke up.

“Allow me to take over,” Thrawn said, shutting down his datapad and turning his glowing eyes on Eli. “We are more than halfway there.”

“Su-sure,” Eli stuttered, keying the auto-pilot and glancing at Thrawn. The admiral seemed unaffected, besides his eyes glowing slightly brighter. Though that could just be Eli’s imagination-- the stiff, frigid wind had been making his own eyes water for some time. 

Thrawn perched on the back of his seat, giving Eli room to clamber over into the passenger area before smoothly sliding into the driver’s seat.

“Th-thanks,” Eli said between clenched teeth, tucking his hands into his armpits and doing his best to curl into a ball. He couldn’t feel his fingers, but he didn’t think they had become frost-bitten. “Weird pl-planet, this,” he said, referring to the weather. He glanced behind him to check on the queen and viceroy, who were fast asleep in each other's arms, the viceroy’s wings furled protectively around them. “You’d th-think the natives wouldn’t react th-this way to the cl-climate.”

“Many species evolve differently in reaction to temperature shifts,” Thrawn said, barely audible over the rush of wind over the speeder. 

Eli glanced at him curiously. He’d long suspected Thrawn came from a cold planet, given how chilly he’d kept their shared quarters back at the academy, and he’d assumed Thrawn would be mostly comfortable in their current situation. But Eli had known Thrawn long enough to notice the stiff way the admiral was holding his head, and the odd rigidity of his tone. 

“You do-doing alright?” Eli asked, a violent shiver running through him. 

“I am fine,” Thrawn said firmly, keeping his eyes forward.

Eli shrugged. He didn’t quite believe Thrawn, but it wasn’t like there was much he could do about it in their current situation. “Al-alright. Let me kn-know if you need anything.”

Thrawn again didn’t answer, so Eli let the matter drop and focused on making himself as small as possible. The freezing temperature was made worse by the wind ripping over the speeder, and he hoped they would reach the caverns soon. His bones ached, and as he closed his eyes, the gentle sway of the speeder was almost comforting, and he knew he really should try to stay awake but the ride would really pass much more quickly if he took a short nap… 

“Eli.”

“What?” Eli startled, jerking upright in his seat and wincing as the bitter wind hit his face. “Sir?”

Thrawn turned to look at him, eyes glowing brilliantly despite the bright sun above, hair disheveled from the wind.

He looked… strange. Eli couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was definitely off.

“Sir?” Eli asked again, belatedly realizing Thrawn had called him by his first name. Eli couldn’t remember the last time Thrawn had done that-- something was definitely wrong.

Thrawn continued to watch him, then finally spoke. “You are cold.”

“Uh. Ye-yeah,” Eli said, teeth chattering painfully. 

Another pause. Then, Thrawn took one hand from the controls and held out his arm. “Here.”

“Wh-what?” Eli asked, supremely confused. 

“Humans are adversely affected by temperatures such as these,” Thrawn said, and to Eli’s ears, his normally crisp, Coruscanti accent seemed softened, more like it had when Eli was first teaching him Basic. “You are exhibiting signs of physical distress. Combining our body heat will lessen this environment's adverse effects.”

Eli’s thoughts froze, and not due to the weather. “A-are… Are you a-askin’ me to cu-cuddle with you?” He stammered, astonished.

“I could make it an order,” Thrawn said softly, eyes far too bright, and chill ran down Eli’s spine.

Thrawn seemed to realize what he’d just said, and turned his piercing gaze forward again. “And it would help stabilize my internal temperature as well,” he added, tone almost apologetic.

“I-- A-alright,” Eli said, still stunned. The biting cold really was terrible, and even if it was an odd suggestion, Thrawn was right. “I-- Th-there’s not really room n-next to you, th-though.”

In response, Thrawn reached below the seat and pulled the lever, pushing it back as far as it would go. His wordless suggestion was obvious.

“Ri-right.” Eli steeled himself, still not quite believing this was happening, and winced as he stretched his frozen limbs. Thrawn leaned back into the seat as Eli climbed over the center console and awkwardly lowered himself into his lap, doing his best not to crush Thrawn unreasonably. 

“Is th-this okay?” Eli asked once he had mostly settled, his shoulder against Thrawn’s chest and legs braced against the center divider. Thrawn was right; it was warmer, tucked up against him like this. Eli tried to focus on that, and not how Thrawn’s torso felt exactly like he had secretly fantasized-- lean and firm, with that particular _Thrawn_ scent strong in his nostrils, dark and vaguely spicy.

Thrawn didn’t reply, instead swapping hands on the controls and wrapping his arm securely around Eli, tucking him closer. Eli stiffened at his touch, but Thrawn didn’t shift further, and gradually Eli relaxed against him. He was still shivering, but much less violently than before, and he allowed himself to rest his head on Thrawn’s chest. He could feel Thrawn’s heartbeat against his cheek, far faster than he had ever felt it on the rare occasion they came in close contact when sparring (not that Eli had purposefully done his best to remember those few instances, no sir), but Eli refused to believe it was due to their current seating arrangement. Thrawn was clearly affected by the cold if his odd demeanor was any indication, and it was likely his heartbeat was raised in response to that. 

Eli didn’t dare let himself hope it was because Thrawn felt the same as he did.

In any case, now that he was warmer, Eli realized that his sleepiness had been due to the low temperature, which was certainly not a good sign. He leaned up slightly, peering over Thrawn’s shoulder to check on the two Melapi in the seats behind them. They appeared to be fine, still curled up together as they had before, and Eli made to resettle against Thrawn when he felt something beneath him, and immediately froze.

That.

No. 

It couldn’t be.

Surely Thrawn wasn’t…?

Eli’s breath caught in his chest, his face flushing against the cold, mind racing. He tried to look at Thrawn’s face without moving his head, and could only catch the still-stiff cant of his jaw. 

If Thrawn was hard, he certainly wasn’t acknowledging it. 

Eli forced himself to relax again. Maybe it was Thrawn’s blaster, and he just hadn’t noticed it earlier, as frozen as he was. Or maybe it was his comm, or his belt had shifted. There were plenty of other things that could be pressing up against Eli’s ass other than his admiral’s cock.

He didn’t even know if Thrawn _had_ a cock. 

Of course, that train of thought was _entirely_ unhelpful, imagining what Thrawn had in his pants. Eli knew he needed to direct his thoughts elsewhere, lest he make the situation even more awkward than it already was.

Thankfully, Thrawn’s datapad gave a little chime, and as they crested the hill, they were greeted by the sight of a small, rough hewn building set into the side of a rocky knoll next to a large metal door.

“We have arrived,” Thrawn said stiffly.

“Want me to--?”

“Stay.” Thrawn cut his question off, tightening his grip around Eli’s waist. 

Eli swallowed hard, allowing himself to be tucked further against Thrawn’s chest and desperately trying to ignore what really, _really_ felt like a cock against his ass. Whatever had come over the Chiss, it seemed the best course of action was to just go along with it.

Thrawn guided the speeder up to the door, and a holo flashed in front of them, displaying a symbol similar to the crest of the queen’s house.

 _“State your purpose or be shot, off-worlder,”_ a sharp voice emanated from a speaker in the small building next to them.

“The Southern Clan has been attacked. We have the queen and viceroy with us and require immediate medical attention.” Thrawn’s accent had returned to its usual, sharp Coruscant clip, and Eli found himself relieved at that. 

_“Keep all hands in view, and do not move.”_ There was a sharp _hiss_ , and a door opened on the side of the building. A Melapi in full winter gear stepped out, large blaster in hand. She leveled it at Thrawn and Eli as she stalked towards them, stopping when she caught sight of the queen and viceroy in the speeder. Her jewel-black eyes widened at the sight of the pair, and she called over her shoulder a series of clicks and hisses. She got a response from another Melapi in the building, then turned and jumped into the speeder with a quick flutter of her wings.

“I will guide you,” she said, lowering her blaster as the holo disappeared and the door into the mountain creaked open.

“Can your species see in the dark?” The guard asked as they pulled into the pitch black opening, the temperature noticeably higher, though still too cold for Eli’s tastes.

“Not well enough to pilot,” Thrawn said, and Eli heard a rustle of the guard pulling something from her clothing, then another string of their insectoid language. A moment later, low lights appeared along the corridor, casting deep blue shadows on the walls of the cave.

“Follow,” the guard said, and Thrawn complied, urging the speeder forward and down a series of tunnels. The blue lights would appear as they drew near, and Eli glanced behind them to see them flicker off as they passed. The angle of descent was steep, and Eli wondered how far underground they were going.

“We do not get many visitors,” the guard said from beside them. “If the queen does not confirm your story when she wakes, you will be killed.”

Eli stiffened at the casual explanation of their situation, but he could feel Thrawn nod above him.

“I respect the laws of your people,” Thrawn said formally as he guided the speeder into what appeared to be a parking spot. “The queen will confirm our role in her evacuation.”

“They are not to be harmed.” Eli startled at the raspy voice coming from behind them, and turned to see the faint silhouette of the queen sitting up shakily. She continued to speak in Melapi to the guard, who had stiffened to attention. 

There was a quick exchange between the two, most of which Eli missed as Thrawn had wrapped both his arms almost protectively around Eli once he had turned the speeder off. 

“Sir? Are you alright?” Eli asked quietly, peering up at Thrawn’s burning red eyes. They were definitely brighter than he had ever seen them.

Thrawn looked down at Eli, an odd expression on his face, but the guard spoke before he could reply.

“You will be given chambers and access to communications equipment,” the guard said briskly, a twitch of her wings lifting her out of the speeder. “Do you require medical attention?”

“I do not. Eli?” Thrawn asked, still peering down at him.

Eli frowned. “Uh, I’m fine. Sir? Are you sure you don’t want them to check you out?” _Something is clearly wrong with you!_ He wanted to exclaim, but decorum got the better of him.

“No,” Thrawn said firmly. “We do not require medical assistance.”

“Very well. An escort will be along shortly.”

The guard disappeared into a recess along the wall, and the queen chuckled weakly behind them. 

“The Northern Clans have always been uptight dramatists,” she said good naturedly. “You will be given royal quarters for saving my life. Thank you.”

Eli waited for Thrawn to reply, but when he didn’t, he spoke up. “Of course, ma’am. I’m sorry we weren’t more of a help.”

“Delivering us to the Northern Clans is help enough. With them on my side, we will crush this insurgency. I only wish it hadn’t taken such drastic measures to convince them of the threat.”

“Will there be further negotiations?” Eli asked carefully. If there were, he and Thrawn would have to stay here a while longer.

“No,” the queen said harshly. “Only military response. They have proven they cannot be negotiated with, and it is now an internal matter. We no longer require your services, Commander Vanto.”

Eli’s reply was cut off by the arrival of several Melapi, who busied themselves with ferrying the queen and still unconscious viceroy out of the speeder. Eli could just make out the queen raising her uninjured hand in farewell as they escorted her away, and he couldn’t help but feel a small tingle of pride at the respectful gesture. It hadn’t been their fault the negotiations went to hell, and he and Thrawn had saved two important leaders in the middle of the mess. 

“This way.” Eli recognized the voice of the guard who had led them into the caverns, and saw her standing off to the side of the speeder. “I will take you to your quarters.”

Eli made to remove himself from Thrawn’s lap, but was taken by surprise as Thrawn lifted him over the side of the speeder and set him carefully down before jumping out himself.

“Thanks,” Eli mumbled, confusion and concern swirling in his gut as Thrawn wordlessly took his hand and set off behind the guard, tugging Eli along with him. What the _hell_ had gotten into the admiral?

A short walk later, the guard keyed open a door to an expansive suite, one thankfully lit with low, warm toned lamps. Eli surveyed the space appreciatively, noting the plush couches and well-stocked bar to one side (though he didn’t know if he could even drink Melapi alcohol, it was the thought that counted). An open door showed a large ‘fresher to one side, and another door revealed a bedroom.

He paused. Only one bedroom? He turned to Thrawn, who was still clutching his hand, about to comment on the sleeping arrangements, when the guard spoke.

“The queen indicated you were a bonded pair,” the guard said, sweeping inside and turning on a computer terminal set into the wall. “You can request anything you desire from here, within reason. Food, clothing, general supplies.” She turned to gaze at them, holding herself stiffly again. “I apologize for our earlier reception. Thank you for your service to the queen. However, you are not to leave this room without a guard. You can call for one from here.” She nodded to the terminal, then once each to Thrawn and Eli.

And with that, she marched quickly out of the room and shut the door behind her.

“Uh. Okay then,” Eli said slowly, turning to look at Thrawn. Thrawn’s eyes were flicking about the room, almost as though he were surveying it for traps. “What was that about being a bonded pair?”

Thrawn stiffened beside him, then quickly turned to stare at their joined hands. Eli froze, wary of the admiral’s body language, and Thrawn suddenly released his hand as though burned.

“I apologize,” Thrawn said, his accent once again rounded and thick. He took a step back from Eli, his gaze sweeping over the smaller man, then turned sharply on his heel and marched directly into the ‘fresher, nearly slamming the door behind him without another word.

“What the…?” Eli muttered, staring at the closed door. He heard the sound of water running, as though Thrawn had turned on the sink. He took a hesitant step towards the door, debating if he should knock and ask what the hell was going on, then decided against it. Thrawn clearly wanted to be left alone at the moment, and he wouldn’t open the door if he didn’t want to.

“Contact Commodore Faro,” Thrawn called from the ‘fresher, nearly startling Eli out of his skin. “Request immediate retrieval.”

“Yes sir,” Eli called back, hurrying to the computer terminal, feeling an odd mix of relief and trepidation at Thrawn’s request. Whatever was wrong with him, at least he seemed coherent enough to give sensible orders. But the way he asked for _immediate retrieval_ … Something was wrong, and Thrawn wanted to get back on the _Chimaera_ to fix it.

Which meant it couldn’t be fixed here.

It took a few tries, but Eli finally got a hold of Faro. She sounded harried through the comm, and said the best estimate she could give for a pick up was two rotations, barring any mishaps handling the pirates they were after. Eli debated mentioning Thrawn’s odd behavior, but given that Faro was clearly in the middle of either a battle or worse, he decided against it.

If Thrawn’s behavior continued and proved to be a major issue, he’d call again and explain the situation. Hopefully, it wouldn’t come to that. 

Eli waited a full thirty minutes for Thrawn to emerge from the ‘fresher to give his report, but his hope that Thrawn would exit on his own didn’t pan out. With a sigh, he knocked sharply on the ‘fresher door, hoping Thrawn would hear it over the sound of the running water.

“Sir? ETA on the _Chimaera_ is two rotations,” Eli called through the door. “Are you alright in there?”

The water shut off and Eli heard some shuffling, but the door remained closed. “I assume the delay is due to the… pirates?” Thrawn called back, voice strained.

“Yes sir,” Eli said, frowning. “Should I call for a medic?”

“No.” Thrawn’s reply was sharp. “I require time to myself, Commander. Thank… Thank you for your concern. I will alert you if I need assistance. Dismissed.”

Resisting the urge to tear his hair out, Eli stood his ground. “Sir. Something is clearly wrong. Can you at least unlock this door so if I hear you hit the deck, I can get in there and make sure you’re still breathing?”

There was silence for a moment, then shuffling footsteps and a muffled _click_ of the lock disengaging. Eli waited to see if Thrawn would speak.

He didn’t, and Eli shook his head in frustration. “Thank you sir. Holler if you need me.”

Thrawn’s response was to turn the water back on, leaving Eli alone with his thoughts.

With a final sigh, Eli pulled out his datapad and flopped onto one of the opulent couches. It was time to look up the old stories he heard as a kid, and see if they had any clues as to whatever was wrong with the stubborn Chiss in the ‘fresher. 

\---

Thrawn _burned._

His skin was awash with flame, and his insides were surely molten metal. 

He gripped the edge of the sink, the hot water tap open all the way, and stared his reflection down.

How could he have been so _stupid._

Maybe there was still a chance for salvation. “Contact Commodore Faro,” Thrawn called through the door, putting every ounce of effort into sounding like he wasn’t about to fall apart at the seams. “Request immediate retrieval.”

He heard Eli acknowledge the order, heard quick footsteps crossing their shared suite. Resisting the urge to rip his uniform off, Thrawn clenched his teeth and forced himself to stand straight. He was an admiral, a warrior. A servant of the Chiss Ascendancy.

He would get through this. 

With shaking fingers, Thrawn slowly pried the sealing strip of his tunic open, taking care to fold the garment and place it carefully on the counter before repeating the action with his boots, trousers, and underclothes. Thoughts raced through his mind-- he shouldn’t have skipped his last leave-- _he’s right outside_ \-- he shouldn’t have stretched his last round of inhibitors-- _just open the door--_ he should have grabbed his carrybag from the shuttle-- _he wants it too--_ Now it was too late-- _the sooner you give in--_

_No._

Stripped bare, he slumped against the sink again, catching the scalding water in his hands. He held them under the flow for as long as he could, trying and failing to focus on _that_ burn and not the burn deep in his core.

When it became too much, he pulled his hands from the water and gripped his aching cock, immediately realizing _this wasn’t going to work_ , and began stroking himself anyway. 

He reasoned with himself that he had to try, had to try and find release and wrench his mind back from the grips of his body. Just go through the motions, it might work, he needed it to work, it _had_ to work, but the small, primal voice in the back of his skull was having none of it.

_It would be so easy. Just open the door, grab him. Kiss him, bite him, claim him, you are bigger, stronger, and he wants it too, you’ve known it for years, why pretend any longer, imagine the sounds he would make how he’d fall apart in your arms how tight he’d be around your--_

With a choked-off cry, Thrawn came, spurting his release all over his hands and the pristine floor. Desperately, he gripped the base of his cock, willing his knot to rise so he could just _get this disaster over with_ , but his body rebelled against him. 

Bonelessly, Thrawn went to his knees, still clenching his throbbing cock as he slumped forward, resting his burning forehead against the cool stone floor. He shuddered as tremors coursed through him, nearly making his teeth chatter and muscles cramp.

At least the burning had lessened slightly. But he knew it would return.

There was a sharp knock at the door, and Thrawn clenched his eyes shut. _No, please, I can not--_

“Sir? ETA on the _Chimaera_ is two rotations.” A short pause. Thrawn could hear his heart pounding in his ears, feel it pulsing in his cock. “Are you alright in there?”

Thrawn realized the sink was still on. Numbly, he stood, turning the water off. Eli-- No. _Commander Vanto_ was expecting a reply. 

“I assume the delay is due to the pirates?” He ground out. Good. Those were words that made sense.

“Yes sir. Should I call for a medic?”

Thrawn nearly laughed out loud, hating the delirium spiraling ‘round and ‘round his aching skull. There was nothing Melapi medicine could do for him. Not now. 

“No. I require time to myself, Commander. Thank…” Thrawn swallowed, forcing the words out. _Breathe._ “Thank you for your concern. I will alert you if I need assistance. Dismissed.” _Please, leave me be._

“Sir. Something is clearly wrong. Can you at least unlock this door so if I hear you hit the deck, I can get in there and make sure you’re still breathing?”

Eli had a point. Thrawn didn’t know how his body would react to an unmediated heat, and he’d heard tales of some Chiss suffering cardiac arrest. Though perhaps those stories were exaggerated. Or maybe they weren’t. Why couldn’t he remember?

_You know he would do anything to keep you safe. He cares for you, just like you care for him. Open the door._

With supreme effort, Thrawn turned and undid the lock. His hand fell limply to his side and he stared at the door, Eli’s heat signature blazing brilliantly through the thin plas-steel.

_He is so close--_

“Thank you sir. Holler if you need me.”

_I need you._

Clenching his jaw once again, Thrawn forced himself from the door and turned the sink back on, cold water this time. Maybe that would work. Maybe the shock of sensation would reset his system, scatter these useless, primal urges, see him back to calm, collected coherency.

He knew it wouldn’t. 


	4. Language Barrier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit more angst, (its actually pretty heavy, but I promise things work out. I'll describe it in the end note if you want to prepare yourself) but a happy ending in sight!!
> 
> Next chapter will be a wild ride, if you know what I mean ;)

It had been three hours since Thrawn had absconded to the ‘fresher, and besides being completely flipped out about their current situation-- he had never once seen Thrawn act this way-- Eli realized he had another problem. 

He really needed to use the toilet. 

He knew Thrawn was, at the very least, still alive in there. Roughly every half hour or so, Eli would hear the sound of movement and various faucets being turned on. At first, the sink once or twice, then what sounded like the shower, then what had to be the spacious tub. 

At that point, Eli had been ready to barge in to make sure Thrawn wasn’t going to drown himself, but he forced himself to wait, and a few minutes after that, the shower sounded again. 

He didn’t once hear the toilet flush, so he didn’t think Thrawn was having… digestive problems, but then again, maybe the toilet was quiet. It was hard to be sure. 

Still. Thrawn had been in there long enough. Surely he could spare a minute for Eli to relieve himself.

Bookmarking his place in a collection of Lysatran myths and legends he was reading, Eli shut down his datapad and stretched. He should probably think about getting them dinner, too. Maybe some broth or something for Thrawn. 

Eli crossed to the ‘fresher and rapped sharply on the door. “Sir?” He called over the sound of the shower. “I really need to use the toilet. Can you come out for a second? Just real quick?”

There was a grunt, a faint _thump_ , then the shower shut off, and Eli could hear the shower door opening and other faint movements. However, Thrawn didn’t speak, and Eli’s brows shot up as he heard a deeper _thud_ , as though Thrawn had stumbled into something.

“Do you need help?” Eli asked, heart racing. _Blast_ , he should have told Faro about this, something was really wrong--

“No,” Thrawn croaked, voice hoarse. “Do not open the door.”

Eli opened his mouth to protest, but Thrawn continued.

“I… I need you to…” Thrawn stopped, stumbling over the words, and Eli leaned closer to the door. It sounded as though Thrawn had run miles and couldn’t catch his breath. 

“Sir?” Eli prompted, feeling his own heart pounding in his chest.

<”I need you to hide yourself,”> Thrawn ground out, and it took Eli a moment to realize Thrawn was speaking in Sy Bysti.

“What?” Eli asked, aghast.

<”You must hide. I will go to the bedroom. You cannot see me, and I _must_ not see you,”> Thrawn continued, still in the trade language. 

“Sir, I don’t--”

<” _Please_ , Eli. It…”> Thrawn cut himself off again, and Eli could swear he heard what nearly sounded like a sob. _What the hell?_ <”It is a matter of pride. Please.”>

Eli opened his mouth, then closed it, completely at a loss for words. To hell with his own needs and Thrawn’s pride; he needed to figure out what was wrong with Thrawn and help him, dammit. They were in the middle of a technologically sound city, albeit alien. Surely there was something the Melapi could do for… _whatever_ this was.

<”I know I sound… unreasonable,”> Thrawn called into his thoughts. <”But no--”> There was a sharp gasp, as though Thrawn was in pain. <”No one knows my physiology better than I. Please, trust me,”> Thrawn begged, and Eli’s heart broke. <”Do as I ask. The consequences otherwise will be… disastrous.”>

 _Trust me_. Thrawn’s words danced in Eli’s mind. Of course he trusted Thrawn. He had for years, once he realized that he would never be able to completely keep up with that brilliant mind. And that bit about his own physiology… So it was definitely some medical issue. But it sounded like Thrawn knew what was going on. 

And he was being adamant that he take care of it himself. 

Eli sighed. Thrawn had taken seemingly unreasonable risks before, and it always worked out in the end. Maybe this was just another one of those situations.

“Alright, sir. I’ll get out of your way. Give me a second.”

<”I will count to sixty. Please, ensure you cannot be seen.”>

“Right.” Feeling completely ridiculous, Eli whirled around as he heard Thrawn muttering in a language Eli didn’t recognize. Scanning the room, Eli’s eyes lit on the couch he had just vacated, and its deep cushions. 

Rushing towards it, he tugged on the cushions. Finding a small recess beneath them, he wriggled himself into it and pulled the cushions back into place. It was completely dark beneath them and he could barely breathe, but he was pretty sure they were plush enough to hide any lump his thin body might make. 

Willing his heart to stop pounding and his breathing to steady, Eli pricked his ears for sounds of movement. After a few seconds, he heard the ‘fresher door open, and unsteady, bare footsteps on the carpet. There was a brief pause, then the sound of Thrawn stumbling across the sitting area. He cursed in a language Eli had never heard as he bumped into something, and Eli nearly jumped up right then and there to see if he was alright, but the footsteps continued to the bedroom, the door slamming behind the admiral a moment later.

Eli remained where he was for a few moments, waiting to see if Thrawn would reemerge, but after nearly a minute of silence, he tentatively sat up, allowing the cushions to fall to the floor. 

Thrawn had left a trail of wet footprints to the bedroom, crooked and zaggy as though from a drunkard. One of the stout lamp tables had been knocked aside, probably from Thrawn bumping into it.

When Eli entered the ‘fresher, he was greeted by a sopping wet floor, footprints and puddles and overspill from the sink and tub soaking the tile. Eli bit his lip, wondering what to do. He knew Thrawn would deny any further offers for help, and while this mess was unlike him, there wasn’t any blood or broken tiles or decorative trinkets. At least he hadn’t slipped and cracked his head open.

Eli quickly relieved himself, then tossed a few towels down to mop up the water, still debating what to do. 

Food was probably the next step, then he would dive back into the collection of stories he had found. Thrawn had told him before that the stories of the Chiss tended to have at least a tiny kernel of truth tucked inside them, and Eli hoped he would find something useful now. 

Eli debated asking Thrawn through the door what he wanted to eat, then reasoned that Thrawn would probably ignore him, or tell him he didn’t want anything. So he crossed to the computer and ordered a basic meal for himself, and a bowl of soup for Thrawn. 

When the food arrived, brought by a Melapi Eli didn’t recognize, he carefully placed the steaming bowl on the table outside the bedroom door.

“Sir?” There’s some soup out here for you.” Eli paused, chewing over his words. “I... I know you don’t wanna see me, so if you decide you want the soup, knock three times and count to sixty. I’ll hide again, and you can snag it, okay?”

There was no response. Eli swallowed hard.

“Sir?”

 _“Mar,”_ Thrawn growled directly from the other side of the door, making Eli jump.

“Uh, sir? I didn’t catch that,” Eli said shakily. 

Another pause. <”Yes.”> Softer this time, but still definitely a growl. At least it was Sy Bysti.

“Alright,” Eli said, doing his best to keep his voice even. “I’ll be out here with my own dinner.”

As he flopped on the couch, he realized that last comment was pointless. Where else would he be? But it felt important to let Thrawn know he was here, even if Thrawn didn’t want to see him.

Whatever Thrawn was going through, Eli wanted to make sure he knew he wasn’t alone.

He tucked into his meal, opening his datapad and resuming the story he had been reading. It was an old ghost story, telling of a monster with glowing eyes that would steal solitary farmers from their beds in the dead of winter. It was said nothing could placate the beast, though kind souls would often return with spring (with the implication that unkind folks simply disappeared forever-- there had to be a moral to the story, after all). But once you were taken, you were cursed for the rest of your life, and your family would never see you in winter again.

It was the sort of story Thrawn would arch a brow at, yet make little or no comment on, which in turn would let Eli know (once he figured out how to read the damn Chiss) that the tale held a snippet of truth. Sometimes, if Eli pressed, asked just the right questions, Thrawn would confirm or deny those little tidbits. But most of the time, he was as reticent as he was now. And as usual, it drove Eli mad.

 _Why_ wouldn’t Thrawn just karking tell him?

Not quite realizing he had decided to do it, Eli tossed his datapad on the couch and crossed to the bedroom. He needed to get Thrawn to talk to him, to explain what the hell was going on, to let Eli _help,_ dammit. He raised his fist, ready to pound on the door--

Eli froze as a sharp _zing_ and a dull thud sounded from the bedroom.

That _zing_ was a stun shot. 

“Thrawn?” Eli called, grasping the handle and giving it a shove. Locked. “Thrawn! Open up!” 

There was no response. 

“Thrawn! You open this door right now or I swear to the Emperor and Tarkin and Faro I’ll bust it down!” He slammed his fist against the door, aware that the pitch of his voice was rising with panic, but he didn’t care. He ran his hand along the wall, searching for perhaps a hidden control panel or _something_ , but found no such thing.

 _“Thrawn!”_ Eli screamed, giving the door a sharp kick then leaning against it, pressing his ear against the plas-steel and willing himself to hear something, _anything._

He was met with silence.

“Dammit!” Eli swore, giving the door another kick and wincing at the pain in his foot. Okay, he couldn’t kick the door down. He took a few steps back, then hurled himself forward, slamming into the door with a grunt. It didn’t budge. Maybe there was a key somewhere? No, that wouldn’t work, there was no keyhole, so…

With a rush of adrenaline, Eli unholstered his blaster and fired a shot square at the handle.

The force of the shot sent the door flying open, and Eli rushed inside. It was pitch black in the room, and Eli fumbled along the wall, finally finding the lighting panel and switching it on.

“Thrawn!” Eli dashed to the center of the room, skidding to his knees next to the collapsed admiral. There was a blaster next to him, and a nasty bruise in the center of his chest from the stun shot. Eli also noted he was naked, but he was more focused on making sure Thrawn _wasn’t dead_. Stun shots were designed to incapacitate, but they could cause some serious damage at close range.

“Shit shit _shit_ ,” Eli swore to himself, grabbing Thrawn’s wrist and trying to find his pulse. His heart dropped when he couldn’t locate it, but he forced himself to remain calm. Maybe the wrist wasn’t a pulse point for a Chiss.

Eli slumped forward, pressing his ear into Thrawn’s bare chest, and nearly sobbed with relief. He could hear his heartbeat, worryingly fast but thankfully steady. 

“Why the _hell_ did you shoot yourself?” Eli growled, a curl of anger taking the place of some of his fear now that he knew Thrawn wasn’t dead. “What are you playing at?”

Predictably, Thrawn didn’t answer. Eli grabbed the blaster, inspecting it and finding the stun set to full power. 

“Okay, so you wanted to be unconscious…” Eli muttered, desperately trying to find the solution to this awful puzzle. “Why not just ask the Melapi for a sedative?” Would they have a sedative that would affect Thrawn? Eli knew alcohol didn’t do much to the Chiss, and he had never asked if Thrawn had had any surgeries in his time with the Empire. 

“Are you in pain?” Eli asked tightly, remembering the awful roughness to Thrawn’s voice. “But why not call for meds?” Eli _knew_ basic painkillers worked on Thrawn-- he’d once seen the admiral apply bacta to a blaster wound on his leg, expressing relief at the medication. 

Eli tried to remember everything Thrawn had said to him this evening, anything that might provide a clue. 

He needed to be alone. Whatever was happening, it was a matter of pride. If he saw Eli the consequences would be _disastrous_ , a word Thrawn rarely, if ever used, and Eli remembered the curl of unease he had felt when Thrawn said that... Wait.

Had Thrawn stunned himself to prevent any conscious interaction with Eli?

The conclusion had the feeling of a gear clunking into place. It was so obvious now.

 _Eli_ was the problem. 

Ever since Eli had sat in his lap, Thrawn had been acting weird. Maybe… maybe it was some weird allergy? Stress, a mental break? 

Eli stared helplessly down at Thrawn. If Eli was the problem, he needed to get away from him. He debated calling for the guard and asking for another room, but as he made to stand, he realized that wasn’t a good idea. The guard had said the queen told her Thrawn and Eli were a mated pair. The Melapi followed a very strict honor code, and they were only here with the queen’s blessing; wrong about their relationship or not, these quarters were her gift to them. Of course Thrawn wouldn’t speak up, request separate quarters-- if they offended the queen, at best they would be asked to leave (which meant a frigid speeder ride back to hostile territory) and at worst, they could be shot.

Well. Eli would give him as much space as possible, then, given the circumstances. He would sleep in the living room, keep the bedroom door shut. Simple. Of course, when Faro arrived, they’d have to deal with the shuttle ride together… Eli shook his head. That was a problem for another day. No sense in worrying about it now.

But as he finally stood, he realized he couldn’t just leave Thrawn sprawled on the floor. 

With another sigh, Eli crouched down, hooked his hands in Thrawn’s armpits, and shoved him upright. Thrawn was a lot bigger than him, and effectively dead weight right now, but Eli would _not_ leave his commanding officer naked on the floor, no matter how plush the carpet. 

Awkwardly, Eli dragged Thrawn across the room to the bed, sitting him against the side. Then, he crouched in front of him, again getting his hands under Thrawn’s armpits, and with all his might, heaved him upward, pushing him back onto the bed as he did so. With the majority of Thrawn’s torso on the mattress, it was fairly simple to shove his legs up as well, and once he got the Chiss fully onto the duvet, Eli tugged the other side free and covered Thrawn. He tucked a pillow under his head for good measure-- he’d be sore as hell when he woke up; might as well try to lessen any muscle strain.

Feeling hollow, Eli turned to collect Thrawn’s blaster from the floor, and was surprised to find Thrawn’s personal datapad there as well. Thrawn must have collapsed on top of it. It was still on, open to whatever Thrawn had been reading before he stunned himself. Eli went to close it, but upon seeing the screen, froze.

It appeared to be a medical text, and to Eli’s frustration, he couldn’t make sense of the language. But the accompanying images were _perfectly_ clear, and definitely depicted a Chiss. 

A Chiss fucking another Chiss. 

It wasn’t exactly pornographic, though. There were diagrams and arrows and charts, and as Eli flicked through, there were other images that looked like Chiss masturbating, again annotated. 

Eli pulled out his own datapad and sent a few lines of the text through his translator. He wasn’t surprised to see it return no matches. Thrawn had mentioned the Chiss language, Cheunh, before. This had to be it.

Eli paused, one set of text catching his eye. The words didn’t mean anything to him, but the structure… It looked vaguely similar to Sy Bysti. 

Feeling a surge of hope, Eli delved into Thrawn’s datapad’s settings, navigating by the icons and finding the translator. There were only a handful of languages to choose from, and Basic wasn’t on the list (or if it was, it was called something he didn’t recognize), but there-- a short word followed by a longer word. Hopefully that was Sy Bysti. 

Eli selected the language and tasked the program to run, and let out a growl of frustration as the screen flashed with some sort of denial. The window stayed open, warning displayed in the one language he and Thrawn didn’t share. He had been so close!

“Come on Eli, think…” he muttered to himself, chewing his lip and staring down at the pad, willing himself to understand the words. 

With a jolt, Eli realized he didn’t need to. The window displayed was similar to one that would pop up on his own ‘pad from time to time. The translation was password protected.

But there was no field to enter a password… Oh. Thrawn wouldn’t have a written password; that was too easy to slice. It would be a biometric. 

Eli rushed over to the bed and tugged one of Thrawn’s hands out from under the covers, pressing his thumb to the fingerprint reader. A moment later, the screen flashed again, and the text was no longer in Cheunh.

For a moment, Eli’s heart fell. It wasn’t Sy Bysti. But then he realized he could still read it, though not as fluently as other trade languages he knew. It was Meese Caulf.

Feeling giddy at his successful sleuthing, Eli flopped on the floor next to the bed and settled in to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst summary - Thrawn is very Not Happy about all this and asks Eli to hide while he goes from the fresher to the bedroom so Thrawn doesn't see him. After he's locked in the bedroom for a while, Eli hears him stun himself and Eli freaks out and breaks into the bedroom. Thrawn's unconscious but otherwise okay, and Eli finds his datapad and begins to put the pieces together.


	5. Stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIME FOR PORN
> 
> there might be an epilogue. Depends on my brain and if I have spoons.
> 
> Enjoy!

When Thrawn woke, he was acutely aware of _pain_. 

His blood burned so fiercely it might have been ice in his veins. Every muscle ached, both as though he had pushed himself too hard and as though he were a beast, coiled and poised to spring. His heart was a hammer against the stone wall of his chest, and everything was so _bright_.

With a snarl, Thrawn sat up, only to find his hands and feet were bound with some sort of cloth. 

“Woah there, you’re okay. Relax.” 

Thrawn froze, clenching his eyes shut. Tentatively, he tested his bonds.

_You can break them. Do it, he’s here, now!_

“I tied you up just in case you weren’t… All there when you woke up,” Eli said, voice as rich as honey. 

_“Vah ch’urci tir,”_ Thrawn hissed, willing himself to keep still and keep his eyes shut. 

“One sec,” Eli said, then a metallic voice chimed in.

_ <”You must leave.”> _

Was that… Meese Caulf? 

“Ah. Well, no. At least, not yet,” Eli said. So Eli had found his datapad then. Thrawn grimaced. 

_“Vah nah ran’bin’he’ar.”_

A pause.

_ <”You are not safe.”> _

“Yeah, about that…” Eli trailed off, and Thrawn felt a surge of raw _hunger_ curl within him. “Since you ain’t lookin’ at me, I’ll tell you I’ve got a blaster trained on you. But I don’t think I’ll need it, if you just hear me out.”

Thrawn bared his teeth, a battle waging inside him.

 _Go, take--_ Throw him out, now! _Grab him, make him yours--_ I will not, I am strong enough to resist-- _Show him how strong you are--_

“I know what’s going on,” Eli spoke into the battle, both sides falling silent at the sound of his warm, soft, _perfect_ voice. “I found your datapad, and I was able to translate this medical stuff into Meese Caulf.” He gave a low chuckle. “Reminded to _never_ let you skip leave again.”

Thrawn’s thoughts whirled, chasing the implications, the possibilities--

“I worked out the numbers, and you are literally so overdue for a heat it’s never been studied,” Eli went on, and Thrawn felt a rush of shame at the words. He always felt shame when Eli chided him, even if he didn’t show it, and now… It was so much worse. 

“And frankly, the fact that it hasn’t been studied because most Chiss suffer a cardiac infarction before it gets to this point is worrisome, to say the least,” Eli went on. Thrawn couldn’t help but let loose a chuckle of his own. So he had remembered correctly. He was going to die. He had gambled, and lost.

“And, well… Shit,” Eli grumbled, and there was the sound of shuffling. Was he sitting in a chair across from him? “There ain’t really a good way to say this, so I’ll just say it.”

Another long, long pause.

“I’ve wanted you to fuck me for a long time and if you die because you won’t I have no idea how I’ll feel about that or how to explain it to Faro or anything,” Eli said in a rush, and Thrawn’s eyes snapped open. 

Eli was _beautiful_. The room was still far too bright, Thrawn nearly hissing at the spike of pain it sent into his skull, but that was nothing compared to the sight of Eli sitting across from him, warm and welcoming and soft--

“Also, and I really am sorry about this, but you literally shot yourself and I needed to figure this out, so I read some of your diary entries,” Eli said, turning his head and looking down apologetically. “I only searched for entries that mentioned me.”

Distantly, Thrawn realized that Eli had read what Thrawn had written about him. How he cared for him, how hard it was to keep that care secret. That even when he was himself, and not some _hormone-addled monster_ , he cared deeply for Eli. 

Perhaps even loved him. 

“So I guess… What I guess I’m saying is, let me help,” Eli said, looking back up at him, warm brown eyes meeting his own. “I want to. And…” Another sigh. “And I care for you too. A lot. But I get it. With our ranks and the Navy and everything. I understand if you don’t want to pursue anything like that. But right now…” Eli trailed off, looking lost. 

“You… do not-- do not--” Thrawn growled in frustration; why couldn’t he think? Make the words conform to his thoughts?

“You can use Cheunh, if that’s easier,” Eli said, holding up a datapad. “It’ll translate.”

 _“Vah k’ir nah vuct’san,”_ Thrawn said softly. 

_ <”You do not understand,>” _ chimed the datapad. 

Eli shrugged. “Explain, then.”

Thrawn swallowed hard. How could one explain all of this? He ignored the urge to forget explaining at all, instead to just rip his hands free and throw himself across the room.

_“Rah vah ceis bah babio’cah, ch’auh csehn, ch’ah csarcican’t nah csah hah. Boun’arzan’ehn ch’ah, vim tir.”_

_ <”If you are doing this out of pity, or fear, I will not have it. Stun me, and leave.”> _

Eli shook his head, then held Thrawn’s gaze, sharp and powerful. “I can promise you it’s not that, Thrawn,” he said firmly, and he tossed the blaster aside. “Put your damn pride aside and let me _help_ ,” he spat.

Thrawn closed his eyes again, clenching his teeth. 

_“Nah. Rah…”_ Thrawn felt his heart pound, but he knew it wasn’t related to his disastrous physical state. _“Rah ch'ah ch'isvi vah veah ch'eo, rab vah k'ir nah ran'cah ch'at rihn, ch'ah k'ir nah rsah veah ch'ah csarcican't csan'et hah veo ch'eo rt'eseci vatcoset’anh.”_

 _ <“No. If I mark you as mine, but you do not feel the same, I do not know how I will handle it when my mind returns.”> _Thrawn glared at the datapad-- to hear his raw words spoken so plainly felt… wrong.

“Alright, I know that brilliant mind of yours ain’t functioning at full power right now,” Eli said, and Thrawn watched, wide eyed and suspicious as Eli stood from the chair and began making his way across the room. “But I just said I feel the same. I promise. Now please,” he sank down onto the bed and Thrawn felt like he was going to leap out of his skin, _he was so close--_

“Let me help.”

Thrawn looked at Eli, memorizing his face. The way his hair hung over his brow, the concern in those deep brown eyes, the worried tilt of his lips…

Thrawn had to trust him. How could he not?

Wordlessly, he raised his bound wrists and held them out to Eli. The moment Eli’s skin touched his, Thrawn felt a surge of relief, as though Eli’s gentle fingers were a soothing balm against an open wound. Eli carefully unwrapped the scrap of cloth he had used to tie Thrawn’s hands, then shifted to undo his feet.

“Again, sorry about tying you--” Eli didn’t get a chance to finish his statement because the moment he was free, Thrawn _threw_ himself at Eli, tackling the smaller man to the bed. 

_“Mine,”_ Thrawn growled as he buried his face in Eli’s neck, his intoxicating scent giving him clarity of mind he hadn’t felt for hours. “Do you understand?”

“I-- _ah!_ Yes, I understand,” Eli choked out, breath catching as Thrawn nipped at his throat, one hand tangled in those soft brown curls and the other ripping open his obtrusive uniform tunic. 

_“Good.”_

\---

Eli had expected Thrawn would be… enthusiastic, to say the least, but he hadn’t quite realized just what that meant. 

He felt a brief surge of fear when Thrawn tackled him, reminded once again just how much stronger the Chiss was than him, but that fear was soon overtaken by desire as Thrawn pressed him down into the blankets. Thrawn covered him completely, legs tangled together as he kissed Eli hard, all teeth and tongue, and Eli gave back as good as he got. He was fairly sure he heard a seam or two rip on his tunic as Thrawn tore it open, and he had to practically shove Thrawn upwards to lean up enough to shrug it and his undershirt off. 

Eli gasped when Thrawn pushed him back down and buried his face in his neck, sharp teeth ghosting over his pulse point before shifting lower to mouth at his collarbone. One of Thrawn’s hands was tangled in his hair, pulling his head to the side for better access, and Eli let out a yelp of surprise as Thrawn’s other hand found his crotch, palming his quickly hardening cock through the thick fabric. 

“I need you,” he heard Thrawn growl against his skin as his hand fumbled at his belt, quickly undoing it then unfastening his trousers. Thrawn hummed in a satisfied sort of way as Eli shuffled back on the bed, pulling his clothing down as best he could with Thrawn still lying on top of him, keenly aware of Thrawn’s bare chest pressed against his own. He seemed warmer than Eli remembered, and he shivered as Thrawn ground his hot cock against his hip, already slick with what Eli now knew to be the Chiss’s own natural lubrication, pressing his own cock against his belly and creating a _delicious_ friction. 

With Thrawn already naked, Eli was torn on what to do with his own hands-- Thrawn was constantly shifting atop him, and any time Eli would get a grip on hair or hip, Thrawn would move, ducking his head to mouth at the other side of Eli’s neck or capture his lips in another needy kiss. Just when Eli decided to try and wriggle a hand between them, nearly desperate to touch Thrawn’s cock, Thrawn slipped away, dragging himself down Eli’s body, kissing and biting the skin on his chest and stomach as he went before stopping between his legs. 

He paused there, for just a moment, on his knees with his hands gripping Eli’s hips almost painfully, and stared up at him over Eli’s twitching cock. Despite the wild look in Thrawn’s eyes, Eli knew he was looking for confirmation, for permission to continue. 

“Please,” Eli croaked, reaching down to card his fingers through Thrawn’s thoroughly disheveled hair. “Yes, please.”

Thrawn grinned, all teeth and desire, leaning briefly into Eli’s touch before leaning forward and practically _swallowing_ Eli’s cock. 

_“Fuck!”_ Eli hissed as he felt Thrawn’s throat tighten around him as Thrawn held him there, nose pressed into the hair in his naval. Thrawn made a noise somewhere between a growl and a moan then began to move, slowly pulling off Eli’s cock and lathing his tongue along the underside of his shaft as he went before sinking down again, and Eli shuddered as he felt the head of his cock slide along the back of Thrawn’s throat. 

“Stars, where did you--” Eli’s question was cut off as Thrawn picked up the pace, wet and sloppy and unmistakably _needy_ , and Eli couldn’t help but rock his hips into that warm heat, fucking Thrawn’s mouth with as much control as he could muster given the circumstances. He tangled both hands in Thrawn’s hair, bracing one foot on the mattress as Thrawn hooked an arm under his other thigh, holding him in a surprisingly gentle grip as he allowed Eli to set the pace. After a few moments, Thrawn looked up at him, eyelids heavy with lust as Eli thrust in and out of his waiting mouth, lips dragging obscenely over his shaft and head bobbing with the movement. The sight sent a curl of heat straight to Eli’s core-- he had never seen Thrawn look so utterly _wrecked_ , and he forced his hips to still with a groan.

“Fuck, I don’t-- Not yet,” Eli ground out, feeling his balls tighten, and he gripped the base of his cock with one hand while pulling Thrawn’s head back with the other, ignoring the needy whimper from the Chiss as he willed his orgasm back. “I want to come with you inside me.” 

“Yes,” Thrawn quickly agreed, pulling his hand from Eli’s thigh. Eli watched, chest heaving, one hand still tangled in Thrawn’s hair as Thrawn reached down and stroked himself a few times, quick and clinical, before bringing his hand back up between Eli’s legs. 

Eli gasped in surprise as he felt one of Thrawn’s slick fingers circle his entrance before tentatively pressing inside, and Eli let out a low groan and let his head flop back onto the bed as Thrawn pressed forward slowly. 

“I… Might have warmed up a bit in the shower beforehand,” Eli gasped as Thrawn curled that finger, circling and searching inside him and finding that perfect spot that sent fire up his spine.

Thrawn paused, and Eli raised his head to find Thrawn looking up at him quizzically. 

“Earlier. You were out for a while,” Eli said with a chuckle that turned into another gasp as Thrawn grinned, curling the finger again before pulling out and adding another. 

“I do not want to hurt you,” Thrawn murmured, turning his head to mouth at Eli’s thigh, lips hot against his skin.

“Add another,” Eli said, again throwing his head back and rocking his hips into Thrawn’s hand. He could feel Thrawn grin against his thigh as he obliged, three fingers sliding in easily as Eli moaned. Eli had _prepared_ himself quite thoroughly after reading what sex with Thrawn would entail, and having waited almost an hour for Thrawn to wake meant he was nearly desperate for more. 

Thankfully, Thrawn seemed to have read his thoughts, and after a final curl that sent Eli keening, he pulled his fingers from him and crawled over Eli.

“Are you certain…?” Thrawn asked as he hovered over him, eyes still bright and lips swollen, thoroughly fucked. 

Eli couldn’t help but laugh. “You stunned yourself to stop yourself from jumping me, and _now_ you stop to talk?”

“It is taking every bit of control I have to ask you this,” Thrawn ground out, and Eli noticed the tremor in his voice as his eyes flashed. 

“Then shut up and fuck me,” Eli said, pulling Thrawn down to kiss him.

Eli shivered as Thrawn _growled_ (how many times had he done that?) and practically collapsed on top of him, one hand wrapping around the back of his neck as the other dropped to his cock, his own hips pushing Eli’s thighs wide as he lined himself up. 

Eli’s breath caught as he felt the tip of Thrawn’s cock press inside him and Thrawn shuddered, biting Eli’s lip and gripping his hip hard enough to bruise as he slowly, slowly pressed deeper inside of him. Eli was vaguely aware of being glad he had taken plenty of time in the shower earlier as Thrawn buried himself to the hilt, stopping there, chest heaving as Eli got used to the _perfect_ stretch. 

“Please,” Eli whispered after a moment, gripping Thrawn’s shoulders and canting his head to the side so Thrawn could mouth at his neck again, rocking his hips against the Chiss, his cock pressed firmly between them. He could _feel_ Thrawn’s cock twitching inside him, feel the shivers coursing through the Chiss with the effort of holding still, the tension of waiting for permission. “Fuck me.”

With a snarl, Thrawn pulled back then snapped his hips forward, driving into Eli and reminding him of the strength with which Thrawn tackled him earlier. He nearly yelped as Thrawn did it again, then again, and suddenly Thrawn had set a bruising pace, face buried in Eli’s neck and he wrapped his arms around the smaller man, one snaking under his lower back and lifting his hips, the other over his shoulder and behind his neck, clutching him so fiercely Eli could scarcely breathe. 

_“Mine,”_ Thrawn hissed against his skin, and Eli whimpered as Thrawn pulled his hips even higher, the angle perfect, each stroke sending a zing of electricity through him. He tried to brace his feet against the mattress, to help with that perfect angle, but Thrawn was far larger and the strength of his thrusts kept Eli’s legs slipping every time he tried to find purchase. After a moment, Eli gave up and simply went limp in Thrawn’s arms, clutching his shoulders and unable to stop the moans and cries that fell from his lips as Thrawn pounded into him.

Suddenly, to Eli’s dismay, Thrawn sat up and pulled out of Eli, kneeling between his legs.

“Over,” Thrawn growled, the hand still under Eli’s lower back lifting and practically _throwing_ him onto his side.

“Stars yes,” Eli said, scrambling onto his hands and knees, aching cock swinging beneath him as he arched his back, presenting his ass and bunching the duvet in his fists. He moaned again, eyes rolling back in his head as Thrawn gripped one of his hips, tugging him back onto his thick cock, again sinking in to the hilt, and suddenly he felt Thrawn’s other hand between his shoulder blades, pressing him forward and down into the mattress. 

Eli couldn’t describe the sound he made as Thrawn bent over him, whimpers and moans muffled into the pillow as Thrawn’s full weight settled onto his back and his knees went out from under him, pinning his cock against the mattress. Thrawn again wrapped an arm around Eli, circling under his chest as the other still gripped his hip, thumb pressing into his ass and holding him down as Thrawn resumed his pace. Eli could hear the wet, obscene sounds of Thrawn’s skin hitting his ass over the sound of his own faint cries and Thrawn’s low, hungry groans or an occasional muttered curse, and Eli lost track of how long he laid there, pinned as Thrawn fucked into him over and over. 

Soon, he felt Thrawn pick up his pace and his mouth moved almost frantically over Eli’s neck, and Eli braced himself. He had read about this, read about what getting fucked by Thrawn would entail, and the thought sent a thrill through him as he managed to shove one hand under himself and grip his cock, letting Thrawn’s thrusts telegraph into his own palm.

“Eli,” Thrawn stuttered, tone low and begging. “Eli, please, can I--”

 _“Yes,”_ Eli hissed, feeling his tension coiling higher and higher as Thrawn pounded into him _hard_ , the bed creaking and shaking and each thrust nearly knocking the air out of him when Thrawn suddenly sank his teeth into Eli’s shoulder. Eli _howled_ at the sharp spike of pain combined with a final, bruising thrust from Thrawn burying himself as deep as he could inside him. Eli cried out again, rutting desperately into his hand as Thrawn continued to bite him, shuddering and whimpering as Eli felt hot come paint his insides, and he shivered and squirmed beneath the Chiss, chasing his orgasm, he was so _close_ , when he _felt it._ Thrawn snarled again as his knot filled, still buried deep inside Eli and stretching him in a way he had never felt before--

 _“Thrawn!”_ Eli cried, voice hoarse as he felt the knot swell and suddenly it was pressing _right there_ , fire shooting up his spine and with a strangled cry, Eli felt his own orgasm crash over him. His hips bucked into his hand, the movement tugging at Thrawn’s knot inside him and pressing it _again_ and _again_ into that perfect spot and he couldn’t breathe as he came, cock throbbing and spilling all over the mattress, Thrawn’s teeth still in his shoulder and arm wrapped around his chest, crushing him against the Chiss as he writhed beneath him, every movement sending sparks through his core. 

With a small curl of fear, Eli realized the sensation _wasn’t stopping_ , Thrawn’s knot locking them together, and soon it was almost too much, his vision was whiting out and he could hear his blood rushing in his ears and he nearly sobbed, grasping futilely at the duvet and trying to claw his way out from under Thrawn, each movement sending another sharp _zing_ up his spine--

 _“Stop,”_ Thrawn growled in his ear, grabbing Eli’s arms and pinning them against his chest and letting his weight fully sink on top of him. “Stop moving. It will pass. Stop.”

Eli cried out again, tears spilling from his eyes as he shuddered but did his best to listen, to allow Thrawn to hold him down. His hips still wanted to buck against the mattress, to try and lessen the sensation of Thrawn’s cock locked deep inside him, but he wasn’t strong enough to move with Thrawn crushing him, and with a feeling of reckless abandon, he slumped into the mattress, shuddering and shivering and over-sensitive.

“It will be alright.” Eli was dimly aware that Thrawn was murmuring into his ear, nuzzling gently against his neck as he held Eli in his arms. “It will pass. A few minutes, and it will pass. Breathe.”

Eli took a shuddering breath, difficult with Thrawn crushing him but not impossible, and he felt Thrawn breathe with him as he continued to mutter reassurances, slowly loosening his grip. After a few moments, Eli realized that while it felt… different, he wasn’t in pain, and if he lay still, Thrawn’s knot was simply a firm pressure inside him. The sensation of over-stimulation slowly faded with each calming breath, Thrawn’s gentle words helping to ground him.

“I… I’m sorry,” Eli stuttered after a moment, voice muffled with his face pressed into the pillow. “I didn’t-- I mean, I knew what would happen but--”

“It is alright,” Thrawn rumbled from atop him, voice almost slurred as he pressed his nose into Eli’s hair and inhaled deeply. Eli felt his cock twitch inside him again, knot still full and firm. “Do not apologize.” 

“How-- how long?” Eli swallowed hard, still feeling the aftershocks of his orgasm whispering through him.

“Not long,” Thrawn murmured, shifting to place soft kisses on Eli’s neck before dipping down to the bite. Eli hissed at the sting as Thrawn pressed his lips to it, then felt an odd sensation of relief as Thrawn lathed his tongue over the wound. He wondered if he had missed something in the medical text about that.

“Are you alright?” Thrawn asked into his thoughts, tugging one of Eli’s arms out from under him and twining their fingers together. 

“Yeah,” Eli said, surprised at Thrawn’s gentle tone and tilting his head to look at their entwined hands. He felt a surge of emotion at the sight, something warm and comfortable he hadn’t dared let himself ever imagine in the past. Granted, he had just been fucked so hard he’d cried and Thrawn was still balls-deep inside him, but… Thrawn let out a contented sigh and tightened his grip on Eli’s palm, and he couldn’t help but hope that maybe after all this was over, they could have something… more. 

After a few minutes, Thrawn softened enough to pull out, and Eli was surprised to feel a little dismayed at the loss of warm pressure. He opened his mouth to ask how Thrawn was feeling, but was cut off by Thrawn turning him over and kissing him.

It wasn’t like their earlier kisses, though. This one was soft, gentle, controlled, and Thrawn pulled away after a moment. 

“I must apologize, Eli,” he said, leaning back slightly and gazing at Eli, something almost like sadness in his eyes. “To ask you for this, it was not--”

“Shut. Up.” Eli said firmly, leaning forward and kissing Thrawn again. “You seem a little more lucid right now; do you remember what I said earlier?”

Thrawn stared at him for a moment, then nodded in a chastised sort of way. 

“Good. Because I meant it. I care for you, a whole lot. And I get if you don’t want to…” Eli waived his hand vaguely. “Make this a relationship or anything. But I wanted this. I wanted-- I _still_ want, you.”

Thrawn was silent, those glowing red eyes roaming over his face, and Eli smiled gently. “I’ll let you get some rest,” he said with a sigh, feeling his heart sink a bit as he rolled over, making to climb out of bed. It would have been nice to hear that Thrawn felt the same way, but he wasn’t lying when he said he would respect Thrawn’s decision. “Your soup is still--”

“Stay.”

Eli froze, one leg dangling awkwardly off the side of the mattress. “Pardon?”

“I feel the same as you do. Please, stay with me,” Thrawn said quietly. 

Eli looked over his shoulder at Thrawn. “That’s not just the biology talkin’?” He asked weakly, not daring to get his hopes up. 

“I will admit my cycle is not yet finished,” Thrawn said, gazing at Eli sharply. “But at the moment, my mind is clear. You read my diary entries?”

“Just a few,” Eli said hastily, feeling a burn of shame. “I’m sorry--”

“Good. Then you understand,” Thrawn said simply. He shuffled around a bit, getting his legs under the blankets and scooting over to the side of the bed. “You need rest as well, and I would like to wake with you in my arms.”

Eli’s breath caught in his throat. Thrawn rarely spoke so plainly, and what he had just said struck Eli like a ton of duracrete. 

Wordlessly, Eli swung his leg back into bed and wormed his way under the covers, facing Thrawn.

“Thank you,” Thrawn whispered, leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. 

Eli didn’t say anything, not trusting his voice not to crack as he kissed Thrawn back before curling forward against Thrawn’s chest. Thrawn wrapped his arms around him again, gently this time, and with a contented sigh the pair drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic is super good and what got me thinking' about heats and stuff. 
> 
> "A Helping Hand" by elleTchj! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23940511/chapters/57573184


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